People would ask, “Were you at the Lightning game last night?” I would answer, “No, I was at home.” And just like always, they'd go into the same spiel about how this girl was my identical twin and how there was no way she wasn't related to me and even once she was spotted wearing the same exact outfit I was wearing on the same day. She had been spotted at parties I would normally attend, working with people I had worked with, and once, as a child, she was seen at a ranch where my friend's mother ran a girl scout troupe. “This girl looked like you, walked like you, talked like you, had the same table manners as you, everything!”
And, as always, when presented with the question “Why didn't you approach her when when you saw her?” they'd always reply “Because there was just something that wasn't 100% you, you know?”
But, by the time I was thirty-seven, the sightings had stopped, and I had given up any thought of her.
But there she was. It was January 18th, 2014, 4:26 pm. There was a light snow falling from the clouds, leaving a sugar-coated dust over everything visible. It was pleasantly warm that afternoon, yet cold enough for frozen precipitation. I was strolling from my car into the parking lot of Walmart, letting the individual flakes hang out on my black woolen coat for a moment before dissolving into oblivion. I always loved to look at their intricate shapes before they dissolved, which was part of the reason I picked that particular coat for the season. Midwest winters were very bipolar, but they were almost always guaranteed to produce at least some snow.
So when the car backed up into me from its parking space, subsequently knocking me to the ground, I immediately knew it was partly my fault for staring at my arm while walking, rather than paying attention to where I was going.
“Oh my god, are you okay!” screamed a voice from the open driver's side. The dark-haired woman jumped out, leaving her door open and running over to me.
I looked down at my ankle, which hurt pretty badly, but not so much I thought I needed medical attention. “Um, I'm okay, I think. I just landed on my leg wrong.” I rubbed my ankle, and it made it feel better for a moment.
She knelt down beside me and touched my ankle softly. “Are you sure? I can call 911.”
I smiled and looked at her jet-black hair falling over her face. “No, that's not necessary.”
She smiled back and looked at me.
My smile withdrew as I saw her. I didn't know what to say. Her hair was long and perfectly straight that fell below her shoulders, and different from mine, as mine was mostly shaved besides my long bangs, which were curled into a 1940's fashion and held up by a few bobby pins. Hers was obviously dyed black, and mine was my natural lightish-brown with gray flecks.
She must have thought the same as she saw my face, which happened to be her own staring back at her, by the look she was giving me.
I panicked and reached my hand out. “My.......my name is Emily.”
She took my hand, the same look of dumbfoundness on her face as she spoke. “Sarah.” She cleared her throat. “My name is Sarah.”
“Can you help me up, Sarah? I want to see if I can walk on this ankle.”
She scrambled to her feet. “Of course! I didn't even see you, I feel so horrible!” She replied as she reached down to me.
“No worries. I wasn't looking where I was going.” I pulled on her arm for support as I arose from the slick pavement. “To tell you the truth, I was staring at the snow on my coat. Kinda stupid, right?”
Sarah laughed a familiar laugh, one I had heard several times a day. “So I am not the only one who does that? Sometimes I stand in the middle of a road or sidewalk and stare up at the snow as its falling. It makes me feel....”
“Claustrophobic, right?” I laughed while yelling out the word in excitement as she nodded. “I do that too! Like I know I am not confined in a box or anything, but I feel so trapped and small, surrounded by all that snow falling. It's very exhilarating.”
“No way! Wow. That's really.....strange.” She cleared her throat, obviously uneasy at the thought of what was the explanation we both hadn't addressed yet.
“Yeah, uberly strange. I mean, I wasn't the only one to notice it, right?” I asked, hopeful.
“You mean that we look exactly alike? Yeah, I kind of noticed that. What do you think that's about?”
I thought for a moment, trying to put pressure on my ankle. “Well, I am adopted. There's that to start with.”
She reached out to grab my arm and take my purse for me while we walked around the car to the side to get out of the way of other cars. “You think? I mean, I am not adopted, that I know.”
“Are you sure?”
“Yes, positively. I have the pictures to prove it.”
I leaned on the side of her golden brown Buick Century, she handed me my purse back. “Well, I do have one question though. Have people always told you about me? That I existed?”
She looked at me strangely and smiled. “How could they? I just met you. Well, I actually hit you with my car, but you know what I mean. Before today, I have never seen you before.”
“Yes, I know, but all my life people thought you were me and told me about you. Ever since I was a little kid.”
She tapped her lip. “Come to think of it, yes. But it was never a big deal or anything, just a couple times people telling me there is a girl that looks like me. I never thought anything of it.”
My heart sank a little as I looked at the snowy pavement. “I did. I always dreamed of meeting you. I was an only child my entire life, so the thought of a girl that looked just like me made me wonder if we were sisters. I wanted so much for you to be my sister,” I admitted.
She reached out to my shoulder. “And so we meet today after I almost kill you. That's sure some great crap, isn't it?”
We both laughed but deep down knew it was true.
I put more weight on my leg and hobbled around for a moment. “I think its good. No ambulance needed.”
“So, are you heading inside, or do you want go to get some coffee somewhere? I will drive, seeing as I sort of owe you.”
I nodded and pulled my purse up to my shoulder. “My mother always taught me not to take rides from strangers, especially when they try to run me over, but today I'll make an exception,” I winked.
She frowned. “I feel really bad about that. Its starting to really hit me what actually just happened. I could have killed you.”
“No, don't feel bad. I was only joking. I am fine, really,” I assured her as she unlocked her passenger side for me.
“I know, but I've never even hit an animal before. And today I hit a person. Doesn't it bother you at all?”
I assessed my body and emotions. “I think I am kind of in shock right now, actually. Maybe later it will wear off and I will freak out?” I laughed.
“Okay, decaf for you then!” She laughed and got into her side of the car and sat down. “Starbucks? Its right across the street.”
“Sure,” I replied, pulling my door shut.
“Well, how does it feel? Finally meeting me after all these years?”
I smiled and paused. I couldn't gauge the situation at hand properly being in shock and all. But if Fate had wanted us to meet, I could clearly see it would stop at nothing to make that happen. I had waited my whole life for that moment and instead of feeling anything about it, I was buzzed and numb. “Frazzled,” I sighed. Then I looked at her and added “Yet grateful.”
She smiled back and breathed out a heavy breath. “Me too.”
We backed up very slowly, this time with Sarah looking meticulously behind us, and headed to the overpopulated coffee shop chain across the street. I watched the snow swirl in small cyclones as we drove away where our tires once were and wondered what the hell had just happened.
Whatever it was, it was my fate, I was sure of it. And Sarah's too. Even if it just turned out to be nothing at all other than an accidental car-on-person fight, with me being the loser. But then again, nothing really was an accident. Was it?
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