The Other Half of Me: Part Five

Sarah got quiet again. “Oh wow, yeah. I never thought of that.” She slumped down into her seat.

I circled the letter between my fingers, turning it over on itself again and again.

“We just won't tell her,” she finally responded. “No matter the results, we'll tell her they were positive.”

“For real? We'll lie to her? I mean, its not like this is about something as simple as a piece of mail from a friend or something. This is literally life and death.”

“What choice do we have, Emily? We started this. Well, I did, with my car, but that's besides the point. The point is, there is no other choice. IF, and that's a big IF, you aren't my sister and they really did switch the babies and my sister is still out there? What are the chances we'll find her? Odds are that you are it. And if you aren't, odds are you will be the closest thing to it for the rest of our lives.”

I chewed on the idea for a bit. She had a point. If the letter turned out to be negative, then all was lost for her mother. I knew what it was like to lose everything. I couldn't do that to her. “Okay. So, will we lie to your brother, too?”

Sarah threw her head back and laughed loudly. “That bozo couldn't keep a secret if his life depended on it! Good lord, if I told him we were lying to our mother he'd be the first one to tattle on us!”

“How old is he again?” I gave her a cock-eyed look.

“Old enough to know better. He's my best friend don't get me wrong, but wow is he immature.”

I looked down at the letter still in my palms. “So, we've made a pact, we're going to stay sisters, no matter what this letter says, right?” I knew she already made that clear, but I was the type of person to always expect the bottom would fall out at any moment.

She took my hands into hers and looked straight into my eyes. “Yes. You are my twin sister, even if that piece of paper says otherwise. Pinky swear?” she let go of my hands and held up her right pinky.

I giggled. I hadn't pinky swore something since seventh grade, but I gladly put my right pinky into hers. “Pinky swear.”

“So that's settled. Throw that paper away,” she said as she jumped up from the couch.

I couldn't believe I was hearing. “Wait, what?”

“In the garbage. We don't need it. We are twins. Whether we are blood twins or not, who cares? We look identical. How often does that happen with strangers?”

“Um, all the time. Look at celebrity look-a-likes.”

Sarah shrugged. “So?”

“Aren't you the least bit curious?” I knew I was.

“Kinda, but not enough to ruin things with opening that letter. Now, let's just throw it away and accept what we are and move on, okay?”

I looked down at the envelope again. Again, she had a point. It really didn't matter what the letter said. Not really, right? It was like finding out the sex of your baby, as long as it was healthy, it didn't matter the sex. But the difference was at the end of a pregnancy you are guaranteed to know if the baby was a girl or boy. With this we didn't know if the baby was alive or not, or even if it was, if it was me. If I threw this away, I'd never really know. Was I okay with that?

I stood up from the couch and walked towards my kitchen. “Okay, okay, throwing it away. You're right. It doesn't matter as long as we accept us being sisters as truth.”

“Yup!” she yelled from the bathroom.

I opened up the cabinet where the garbage sat and went to drop the letter in. I stopped, felt it in my hands one more time, and folded it in half and slipped it into the pocket of my pajamas. There was a gas bill on the counter in front of me, so I folded that in half so you couldn't see what it was, and dropped it into the garbage instead. “Done!” I yelled back.

“Let's take that garbage out so we don't get curious later. We'll take it right out to the cans before the garbage man gets here.”

I smiled and grabbed the bag out of the can and tied it shut. “Today is garbage day. Good idea.” I slipped on my slippers and hurried out the door, bag in tow.

As I dropped it in, I had a feeling of relief wash over me that the letter wasn't in there, but instead tucked safely in my pocket. It gave me a sense of power, in this very powerless situation. If I was her sister, I had a family again. If I wasn't, I'd still have a family, but it would be a lie. And I was the type of person who would rather know the truth than be comforted by a lie. But her mother had suffered for so many years, would it really be that bad to lie to her? To let her live her life out thinking what she thought to be true was real? Was that really so bad?

I rubbed my hand on my pocket, feeling the hard edges of the folded envelope. No, it wasn't so bad. Not everyone was like me. Some people need to hear what they want to hear in order to be at peace. And wasn't peace worth a little lie that didn't really matter in the end?

And besides if the real twin showed up, if it wasn't me, it would still be worth it. I might lose my new family, but at least I'd have them for a little bit.

I looked up at the picture window and saw Sarah smiling at me. I waved. She waved back. Yes. That was my sister standing there. Blood or not, she was mine, and I hers. And for once, I felt at peace with not knowing the truth. Well, yet.